SUNSTAR

This is the essay series by women living with HIV. The authors in Japan, Cambodia, Portugal and the Philippines, write about episodes and the feelings of their daily lives.

My Dream　/　Aya

I appreciate the get-togethers I have with other people who are HIV-positive, but I always feel bad that there are many more people, particularly in areas outside of the major cities, who are unable to attend such gatherings. In Tokyo we have study meetings sponsored by NPOs, and just participating in such events is enough to lighten the emotional burden we have been bearing as people with HIV. Participants often voice the simple opinion that, “We are all just ordinary folks, aren’t we.”

Given this situation, my own dream is to create a network of HIV positive women by traveling throughout Japan with the friends I have met. Actually I should describe it as our dream, because this is a topic that has been discussed a number of times at our get-togethers.

People are also working in local government, NPOs and other organizations outside of the major cities to proactively provide kind assistance, making their communities better places to live. This is something to be truly thankful of. It would be great if we could link up all these different areas and expand our network bit by bit.

My ultimate dream, of course, is for a medicine to be developed that eradicates the HIV virus so that the disease disappears completely.

If the day finally comes when this is achieved, I would like to finally have a child of my own through natural means. Today, with the advances of medical science, HIV-positive women can choose to give birth. My husband and I have considered in vitro fertilization, but even though we both want children, we never both feel like opting for that method at the same time. Now that I am in my thirties my dream of becoming a mother may be very hard to realize unless a drug to cure HIV is developed in the next five years.

Even though I am determined to live a normal life despite being HIV-positive (and remind myself of this), there are still many constraints that I face because of my HIV status, so naturally I want to see a cure developed as soon as possible. I believe that this wish will be granted at some point in my lifetime.