SUNSTAR

This is the essay series by women living with HIV. The authors in Japan, Cambodia, Portugal and the Philippines, write about episodes and the feelings of their daily lives.

‘Naked Time’　/　Naoko

When I hear the word ‘relaxing’ I think of the time I spend au naturel just after getting out of the bath. I’m not talking about anything remotely sexy. Just as the words imply, when I get out of the bath, whether it’s summer or winter, I spend some time naked before getting dressed. It actually feels quite good. It’s not as if I wear a suit and high heels all day. I don’t usually wear constricting clothes, but after relaxing in the tub and getting clean, I don’t know, it just feels like a shame to put on clothes. The most relaxing time I spend is the 30 minutes to hour spent undressed in my own room, feeling peaceful and listening to my favorite music while I stretch and go through my skin routine. It seems my daughter, who is in her early teens, can’t understand her mother’s feelings. She used to have a look on her face like, “Why do you have to be naked?” Lately, though, I guess she’s given up on me.

I have a friend who says, if you’re going to be naked it has to be while sleeping, but when I think about what would happen if an earthquake occurred in the middle of the night and I had to run away, well, I don’t have the nerve to do what he does. Now, if I had a great figure like Angelina Jolie, even in an emergency I wouldn’t think twice about running around in the buff.

A little while ago, while in Bangkok I slept in the nude for the first time. The hotel bed was positioned so that the cold air from the air conditioner blew right on me, but when I turned it off, it was a bit hot so I thought I might as well not wear any pajamas. Contrary to what I’d expected, despite not wearing anything, I was able to sleep comfortably.

Rather than doing this and that after getting out of the bath, I think I’d rather just be naked. A friend with small children once said, “You know, little kids like to take off their socks and shirts and things.” I’m in my late 30s and I act the same as little kids?! But, really, I don’t think I can give up my naked time.