|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
| This is the essay series by women living with HIV. The authors in Japan,
Cambodia, Portugal and the Philippines, write about episodes and the
feelings of their daily lives. |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| My Encounter with HIV / Aya |
 |
 My encounter with HIV dates back about 20 years. I casually donated blood just so that I could have a soft drink while I was waiting for a friend. Several days later I received a letter from the Red Cross Center, which requested me to visit because they had something to tell me. That was when I was informed that I was HIV positive. That day I felt sorry for my parents and blamed the person who might have passed the virus on to me. I also regretted my carelessness. I might have been able to avoid being HIV positive if I had been more careful. I realized the blessing of the ordinary life which I had up until then, but at the same time I cried over my misfortune which would never change or get better and wished it were a dream.
Although I continued to work as usual and have fun with friends, I still saw myself as a victim of HIV. My way of thinking in those days was always negative. I wished I could replace all of my blood. I wanted to look for a place to die where I would not be noticed.
What saved me was meeting my husband. I had been afraid of having a relationship with men since I knew my HIV status,. But now I think it was this negative thought of mine that led me to my meeting my current partner and which has enabled me to lead a happy life with him today.
Since then I have been participating in gatherings of people living with HIV. I have come to realize that, even though we are HIV positive, there is nothing special about it at all and that it is just another illness. What is more, these encounters with people have become an extremely important part of my life. I have been able to meet many wonderful people whom I would never have known had I not become HIV positive-people with warm hearts, those who have rich experiences in life, amusing people, generous people, and people of tremendous vitality.
Today, I feel grateful to HIV for making my life so rich. It is something that cannot be understood without living with it for a long time. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|